hey Google, stop calling me!!

Whether I’m at a business meeting or having lunch with friends, this question always comes up:

How do I get Google to stop calling me?

It’s not Google. If you listen carefully, the person on the other end of the phone call never actually states that they’re Google employees. It’s just implied.

Hang up.

Here’s a story about Phyllis (not her real name):

She called me with some questions about her email. That finished, she said. “As long as we’re talking, I want to ask your opinion. Google called yesterday and I signed up for their program so I could get better search results.” She went on to tell me she’d given the caller her credit card information so she could get an enhanced listing. She thought she was paying Google.

I think she got the credit card charge reversed, so there’s a happy ending.

Google listings are free.

Here’s what happened when I searched the term “jelly bean”. (No reason for searching this particular term. It just popped into my head.)

See the two listings at the top with the red arrows? The little green box that says “Ad” indicates that Starburst and Jelly Belly are advertising with Google. They do pay Google. That’s why they’re at the top of the page.

The other two listings on the page are absolutely free.

Then how do you get a listing at the top of the page on Google?

1. Write really great text on the pages of your website
2. Get plenty of links to your site
3. Update your site frequently with relevant information that your customers are seeking
4. Advertise with Google. Ask me how to do this. Remember, I have a No Pester Policy.

Unfortunately, I can’t make these rascals stop driving you nuts with phone calls. Incidentally, Google staff members once told me that they get these kinds of calls, too.